11 July, 2009

My race, my religion

First of all I would like to say sorry and that this post is not intended for anybody or anyone

I'm a malay and I fucking hate to be one. To those people who know me well I'm sure you know that I'm not a malay at all. I fucking eat pork and I drink beer. Hell. I never even pray. Fasting? I have never done it in my whole life. Religion? Muslim. Fuck this religion. I hate being called a malay. Because of some punk ass malay mother fuckers, I am viewed by others who do not know me as the same as all those shit fucks. I was born and raised as someone neutral. Neither malay or chinese or even dutch. I fucking learned how to speak english and hokkien first than malay as my grandmother always talked hokkien with me. I hated going to all those visitings to my malay side. They have a fucking mentality that just because they are given special priviledges as a bumiputera they are better than everyone else? FUCK that shit. In my fucking class in college itself there are only 6 malays including me and the rest are ALL chinese. WTF do you have to say about that? Malays are better? BULLSHIT. It is up to you who you want to be. Nobody can fucking help you unless you help your own sorry ass. Malays are fucking lazy to realize that and they don't even bother to do anything else (Not my friends but in general) As I said, just because society sees all those fucking malays walking around on the street doing shit doesn't mean I am the same way and up until now I have never been given the chance to prove myself of that and its fucking frustrating. I have only been given a chance by a handful of people. My lecturers, Wai Yik's family and some friends. FUCKING don't say you will not want to meet me or know me just because of my name and the colour of my shit skin. To be honest I am more chinese than a malay. HELL i'm not even malay at all. Let's talk in terms of relationships. Until now, I have not been given a chance to prove my point and show that I am not a malay at all. AT ALL. I always have to hide and run away because of me being a malay. WAT THE FUCK is that all about. I'm sick and tired of running away. Fucking come here and sit down with and get to know me better then you'll find out who I really am. It is really saddening and frustrating to know that you will never get the chance to prove your worth and that there is nothing you can do about this race and religion shit. I really look up to Zac as he was given the chance to prove himself and now he is where he is with Esther. I would jump for joy and fucking fuck stray dogs if I was given this one chance to prove to people, the society and the world that I am NOT a fucking malay that lingers around and does nothing with his life. I go to college and I study. I got a 3.67 cgpa. FINE i smoke and I have a tattoo. Does that make me a bad person? Does it? My tattoo is a roman number 5. To state that my birthday, is on the 5th. I smoke because its a habit I developed since I was 14. So does these make me who I am? To everyone that is reading this right now. Please never judge anyone by the colour of his skin, name on his IC, religion or even race. As a person who is constantly judged like this I can fucking tell you it is fucking saddening and it hurts because you can't do shit about it. I can't change the fact that I am a malay and a Muslim. But I am not like that. I hope this post doesn't offend anyone. This doesn't only go out for malays but for all races as well. DO NOT judge someone like that even before knowing the person. You might never know, that person might do you some good some day.

"You are who you are because you choose to be that way"