Italian eyes

Wind chimes whisper on ears invisible,

Chitter chatter of the raindrops on green,

Burring roars of mechanisms disrupts,

Swinging givers of life calms,

Melody plays on a runaway train,

Words aboard the express of the unseen,

Slow thump of a cage grows hard and slow,

Letters pressed on technology appears,

What logic seems forsaken.

It's raining

Ever so constant the patting of the rain,

Flowing following the surface it hits,

How different it can be from the person across the street,

I laugh,

You smile,

She tears,

He cries,

Hidden beneath the teardrops of heaven.

Listen to the patting of the rain,

What do you feel my friend across the street?

Eyes closed heart opened wide,

What does the teardrop of heaven tell you?

Sense it feel it,

See no eyes would see,

Feel no fingers would feel,

How do you feel?

Time

Time oh time. It just goes and never comes back. Time oh time. This time, I wish you run.

It is true

It is true that sometimes we have to go through all the shit to suddenly stumble upon the flower.

It is true when they say you have to kiss many to find one.

It is true when they say you have to stop searching to be found.

It is true when they say you have to be a complete asshole when you were younger to realize how truly fucking amazing life and love really is.

It is true when they say you have to fuck around in love to really love someone.

It is true that you have to fight for everything you thought were right to find out that you were wrong and finally find the right.

It is true that you have to find someone who has done almost, exactly or even more shit than you have to come to realize that hey, it's time to do something about yourself.

It is true that you have to stop saving in order to be saved.

It is true that you have a second chance in life to do what's right.

It is true.

셀이

I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it and when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it.

I hope your conscience eats at you and you bleed just thinking about it.

I hope you realize how much killed and how much I would kill just to kill you for putting me in this shit.

You murdered me and everything I believed in.

You tore apart everything I have ever lived for.

You pushed me so low down that hole that I can't even see the light.

You ripped my heart and threw it down the drain.

You crushed all my beliefs and all my hopes.

You literally destroyed every single thing that made me different.

Do I want you to die?

No I don't.

I hope life sucks your very soul bit by bit.

I hope someone does the same to you as you did to me.

This I promise

I'll never have my children go through what I had to go through.

And I'll never stop loving my parents.

I'll never give up.

12th of May

Guys! If there is anyone reading this out there, I hope you pay extra attention.

There is this place called Artista is Tropicana Mall where they get bands or singers to come in and perform 5 songs every Wednesday. Some sort of competition will be going on between bands and singers and the winner (decided by vote) will be paid to perform there for a month!

So Zac got us a spot there next Wednesday night! Fucking awesome shit man. I heard it's always packed and the performers there are extremely good. Better than us I'm guessing. But who cares??? We're gonna go in and have fun.

So I hope whoever reads this please please please come and support us and vote for us! =D

You won't get bored there, trust me.

THANK YOU!

11-1 Win

No that's not the score of my hockey match tonight. It was the score my team made when I was about 15 of 16 where I scored 5 goals and assisted 3. Tonight's scores was 3-1. We won. It was a good game. But it made me think. In the duration of time during 14 years old and 17 years old. I've never lost more than 10 games. There was one time where we won 15 games or so and only drew once. I scored an average of 20 goals per season with about 15 assists at average. That's 35 points every season on average. I've seen so many fights and injuries. I have a spinal injury that happened to me when I was about 16 where I skated into someone and fell flat on my tailbone. Strangely, my tailbone protector moved out of the way so up until now, the pain comes and goes. Like tonight. A friend of mine was skating fast to the boards and tripped on someones stick and he flew head first to the boards. Resulting in a neck injury. He couldn't move his neck at all. He even said that he couldn't feel his toes. He's now in the hospital.

But all these winnings I've had, especially today's, made me ponder. I've won over 100 official games and another 100 or so unofficial games. Scored over 400 goals officially and unofficially. Have around 200 assists. Played for the national team and winning silver against Macao, Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong, Chinese Taipei.

Though I have all these winnings.

All these glory.

All these medals.

I've never once won in the game of love.

James Owen Sullivan a.k.a The Rev

To all Avenged Sevenfold fans out there, this is truly a tragic moment as the bands key person, James Owen Sullivan or better known as The Rev(The Reverend Tholomew Plague) who is a drummer, songwriter as well as the backup vocals was found dead yesterday (28th December 2009) in his home in Huntington Beach, California leaving behind his wife Leanna MacFadden.
His death is said to be of natural causes.

The Reverend Tholomew Plague

Born on February 10th 1981, he was only 28 years old. Not only has he left behind his wife, Leanna MacFadden but his band members of Avenged Sevenfold which include :

Lead Singer - Matt Shadows

Lead Guitarist - Synyster Gates

Rhythm Guitarist - Zacky Vengeance

Bassist - Johnny Christ

Trust me, they are very nice people and they are not like what they look like. The Rev was one of the greatest drummers I have ever seen and heard. I wish, really wish that I could have at least seen him and the band in action live at least once in my lifetime but now there is no chance. He is also an amazing songwriter. He wrote "A Little Piece of Heaven" mostly by himself with a little help from his band mates. He also played the piano for that song and while playing drums, sang backup vocals for it. Songs played by Avenged Sevenfold are more than just hard rock music, it is the lyrics, the message within the message. It's goes deeper than just what you see. The composition of songs. The arrangement of songs. Listen closely to the instruments being played. It's the technicality that makes them special. Especially with The Rev there, songs like "Afterlife", "Beast and The Harlot", "Bat Country", "A Little Piece of Heaven", "Dear God", "M.I.A", "Seize The Day", "Scream", were all made possible because of him and his lyrics, backup vocals and drums.

He was the God of drummers.

Indeed, the music world and Avenged Sevenfold has lost one of its most talented and greatest drummer of this time.

James Owen Sullivan a.k.a The Rev

May you rest in peace.

You're an inspiration to all musicians

Dad's surprise

My dad bought me a Christmas/Birthday present today.

It's a book.

Not just your ordinary book.

A book on bass guitar lessons.

Almost everything I need is in it.

Fingerstyle bass, Slap and pull, Major scales, Minor scales, Rock, Blues, Jazz, Funk

AND

There is a Video CD as well.

Which makes it easier for me cuz I can't fucking read taugeh.

Looks like I'll be staying home more often

=D

Wishlist

The few things that I really want:

1. New jeans


2. New shirts


3. 2 New tattoos (One to touch up and add a snake wrapping my first tattoo and another tattoo of one side of an angel wing that has been ripped apart which symbolizes a fallen angel and Zac will get it on the other side)



4. New necklace

Hopefully Christmas + Birthday + Job + Chinese New Year = $$$$$$$

Then I can buy my jeans, necklace and shirts then get my tattoo done.

Not much to ask for right?

=D

A summers breeze of a beautiful flower

Captivating the touch of a summers breeze
Once gone one wonders when will it ever come again
Season after season waited
But season after season differed

Every breeze summer presents
Every stroke of its cooling warmth
Every slide of its fingers linger
Are never the same

Oh how thy beauty you are.

Though winters never bloom and summers never snow.

Beauty shalt not be forgotten for beauty hence engraved itself on a headless name with nameless walls.

A sight to feel, not to see.

Oh thy beauty.

A flower blooming of essence
Touch, water, air and sunlight are of essential
For four act as one
Four shalt broken to none

Another sleepless night

It's 5.19 am right now and I'm supposed to wake up and 7.30 am to run some errands at Taipan.

But,

I can't sleep.

I played my bass(Adrienne) twice, learned "A Little Piece of Heaven" by Avenged Sevenfold and practiced that 8 minute song 4 times. After that I cleaned Adrienne from the neck all the way to the body.

That was almost two hours ago which was around 3.15 am.

AND

I still can't sleep.

I've listened to countless songs.

I've watched countless videos.

Tossed and turned.

Still can't sleep.

I turned off my laptop at 3.30 am.

Tried to sleep by listening to some sad song or some slow song.

Still can't sleep.

Switched it back on at 5.00 am.

And here I am.


So I'll post up some pictures of recent events and some funny pictures =D

Izzuddin's eldest brother was getting married so he invited us to his brothers wedding on Sunday at 8.00 pm. Was a typical Malay wedding WITHOUT sirap ice. Instead, they had grape juice. YUM YUM! Haha! The food was awesome. Especially the rendang and that cake thingy they gave us. Amirul and I ate it like nobody's business and he said "They must've put crack in this man. It's too good!". HAHA! But anyway, there were 10 of us at the wedding which included Aaron, Amirul, Izz, Syaz, Belle, JQ, Sean, Serene, Christine and myself. Was all good. The bride looked pretty! And I took a picture of Syaz and Belle, the only couple there in our group that night.

That's Syaz in his Kompang costume and Belle looking really good in Syaz's mum's Kebaya.

Anyway we left the wedding at 10 something =)

Next up!

Some funny pictures

Ok Amirul came up with this term that only a few of us only know the meaning to. But now anyone who reads this will know what it means =DDD

Since Amirul likes to masturbate and sleep so much, he came up with T&T which meant, Toceng & Tidur. HAHAHA. So ever since that I've been seeing lots of shops and companies having that name.

This is at Sunway Pyramid Parking Lot (B1) which is near at the ice skating rink level.
T&T Kidz Park some more. O.O

This one is at Carefour. Can you believe a salon having that name??? What kind of hair do you cut man!?

Yeah so don't worry about the guy but on the same day as the wedding, I found this at Sunway Pyramid near Giant. They were building this mini theme park or something.

T&T

Toceng & Tidur

Ok. Now who wants to see a gay picture of my very own brother Zac??? WHO WHO WHO?

NAH!

K so just cover the face and the body. Look at the legs man. Seriously like kaki bapok wei!

HAHAHA!

Lucky he doesn't read my blog

=D

~End~

A never ending argument of a never ending story

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine.
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

Weird isn't it? The question of love where no one can truly define love. Parents say "You are so young, you don't know what love is". Really? You think so? I think not. I think that love is however and whatever you want it to be and whatever you make of it. It doesn't matter how old you are cuz love changes as you grow older. At every different age you think of love differently. We all know what love is but we just can't explain it. You will know when someone is really in love with you when he/she does something out of the ordinary. Something he/she doesn't really do. Even so, the question of true love still leaves me hanging. At this age, I currently believe that there is no such thing as true love cuz as I said, love can be whatever you want it to if you want it. It can be your true love if you want it to be. You just have to work hard at making it come true. Love isn't just gonna walk on your doorstep and say hi to you. No. You have to go out and look for it. No matter how you put it. Even if it may seem to you as if you're waiting for love to hit you smack in the face, in reality, unconsciously it was you that smacked love in the face. You went looking. All occurrences around us happen by our own choice. We choose the roads we want to take and so happens, that road led us to love. We all know that when a person says "I'll love you forever" it isn't true. We can TRY to love each other forever but no one can really be sure right? Believe me when I say this, anything can happen. Anything. I believe in the saying that "Never say never cuz never, never happens". Which is true. You can find love even at this minute if it so happened to happen. You can believe you will never but it will one day. If you keep believing in that saying. But believing isn't enough. You can't just sit there and wait for it to drop from the sky. As I said, get up and go look for it. It may sound desperate but at least, you are taking control of YOUR life. The life you hold. The life given to you. It's yours. Not anyone else but you. You dictate your own life. You say how you wanna live it. You say how you wanna do it. You figure out how it ends. No one else should have a hand in your life except your husband/wife and your children. Not even your parents. Yes they can advice, but it's your choice again to choose to do so. At a certain point of age we should take charge of our own lives. Your husband/wife and children create a bond that will last till the end of your days even if you divorce with your husband/wife is the parent to your child. Like it or not they have a say. Back to love, in every relationship there are arguments and there are disagreements. It's normal. It's part of understanding each other. Always be true to one another. Always. DON'T and I repeat DON'T say you love whoever you're dating until you have accepted him/or her for whoever they are. Acceptance means a lot to your partner. Knowing that you have accepted their good and bad makes them trust you and know that you are understanding. If you say "Don't do this and don't do that cuz I don't like it". If it's already a part of him and it makes him who he is (which is the person you fell in love with) then why even ask him/her not to do it??? It's unfair isn't it? Especially when you say he/she can't do this or that but you can do the things you want to do without him/her questioning it.

We are who we are and you shouldn't change because someone doesn't like what you do or because your partner disagrees.

Love is seeing through the perfection and accepting the imperfections.

~ END ~

Pain Pain Pain

Going into the car is hard

Seeing speed bumps coming closer and closer make it worse

Breaking makes it hurt

Putting on the seat belt hurts like hell

Accelerating makes my toes clinch

Walking up the staircase takes forever

Lying face down is a bitch

Sitting down hurts me to the bone

I walk funny now

Can't bend down to take things

Can't run

Can't stand up straight

And all I can do is laugh at how much it hurts

Immortalization

When will time end?
This mortal being can no longer pretend
Defying time would never mend
A constant feeling he could never send

Flesh and blood a mortal being
Heart and soul an immortal feeling
Driven to an atom of destruction
Staring deeply into satisfaction

Dream of a journey not taken
Dream of a walk forgotten
The realization of reality
The magnified reality of eternity
Living only to live
Living not for life
Life without life

A revelation

I play ice hockey as you all know. We were making new jerseys for the team so the team captain was asking what jersey number we would want. So as I remember, I asked for the number 08. As far as I remember. I know I wanted that number cuz I asked what is Shelly's favourite number and she said number 8. So I knew I wanted and gave the team captain that number.

BUT

I just found out TODAY, during hockey that my number is 80.

WHAT THE FUCK.

I JUST found out today. Can you believe that. I don't know how the number got to 80.

I found out when my teammate scored a goal and I assisted. So the referee was calling out the numbers of the goal scorer and the person that assisted him. So the referee called out my teammates number and for my number, he said "Assisted by number 80". So I was wondering who the hell is this number 80 guy that stole my assist. I was like, whatever la.

THEN

Another of my teammate scored another goal and I assisted.

AGAIN

The referee called out my number "Assisted by number 80".

So I was pissed cuz I was wondering who the hell is this number 80 guy. My other teammates don't have that number!

THEN

The revelation happened. I got called out for a hooking penalty for 2 minutes. As I sat down waiting for time to pass and singing "Staring at the carnage, praying that the sun would never rise. Living another day with disguise" (Avenged Sevenfold - M.I.A) one of the helpers that was writing down the penalty and the jersey number of the person that committed the penalty came to me and asked to see the back of my jersey for my number. She said "Number 80". I was like. FUCK! I asked her "Are you serious my number is 80??? I thought it was 08!" Then she said "Yeah it says number 80"

I was punked by myself.

PUNKED KAO KAO!

So I was this number 80 fucker!

After the penalty was over I still couldn't believe it so I went around asking my teammates what was my number.

They all said.

80.

SHIT.

I WANTED NUMBER 08 SO BAD!

What a revelation after 2 months of having the jersey.

Only now I find out.

FUCK!

What I do

All I do nowadays is, go out and play games, practice playing bass, yam cha, go jamming, do assignments, have hockey twice a week, stay at home, online on my laptop that's basically all I do. Sounds like I have no life right?

Wtf man.

But actually I do! I'd rather go out and see new things everyday then stay at home and see my laptop for the whole day. By going out I get new experiences. This is what the internet does to us, it cuts us off from the outside world. People ask me, why do you go out every night? I ask them, why do you stay home every night? They say, at least at home I can online. I say, what do you get from doing that every night?

Man lived thousands of years without even the knowledge of electricity and if you look back at history, the people that made a difference in the world had no internet. Let's not talk about Bill Gates and all those kind of people. But people who really made history. They didn't have internet. Not even the knowledge of electricity. So by going out, you get more experience. You see, feel, smell, touch and hear. All the 5 senses are in use. From staying at home and staring at the laptop, only your sight and hearing is aroused.

BUT! People that go clubbing and drinking, they really have no lives. Waste money, waste time, can't hear what you're friends are saying, have to shout and it's stuffy. I'd rather go to a bar or pub so I can sit and chill with my friends.

So again, just because I go out every night, everyday, doesn't mean I have no life. People that stay at home staring at their laptops are people with no life.

Get connected with the outside world.

The world that was made for us.

Not the world we made.

Seize the day

Tuesday

• Woke up at 9 am to go to Ridzuan for group assignment
• Reached Ridzuan at 10 am
• Had breakfast there
  
• Started of my Public Relations assignment at 11 am
• Stopped at 12 pm to go to Sri KL with Wai Yik to celebrate Kellie's birthday
• Got back at Ridzuan to continue assignment at 2 pm
• Stopped at 7.30 pm to go to Medan to meet up with Clare, Zac and Al for dinner
  
• Got home at 12 am

Wednesday

• Did Public Relations assignment starting from 12.30 am all the way to 8.00 am and sent it online just in time
• Took a NAP from 8.30 am to 11 am
• Woke up and got ready to go to college to send the hard copy of my assignment to the lecturer which deadline is at 12 pm
• Picked Wai Yik up on the way to college
  
• Reached college at 12 pm
• Remembered had to print out feedback page and had to wait for other people to use the college computer to print their stuff first
• Handed in assignment at 12.30 pm (late)
• Went to Sri KL again at 12.50 pm with Wai Yik cuz he wanted to give Kellie something and I wanted to see Shelly
• Forgot to bring out loan agreement form I was supposed to hand in to college for confirmation so had to go back home before I could go to Ridzuan
• Reached home at 1.45 pm, took loan agreement and sent Wai Yik to Pyramid to meet up with Clare and Zac
• Reached college at 1.55 pm and went to hand in loan agreement but person in charge said there are a few mistakes so I had to redo it again
• Left college and reached Ridzuan at 2.15 pm
• Did ANOTHER assignment which was due on Thursday from then till 8 pm (This time a video whereby I was the main actor)
• Finished the Communications: Rhetoric and Reasoning assignment then went back home to shower and change at 8.15 pm
• Had to go straight back out to meet up with college classmates + Zac for dinner and Dota + Counter-Strike + L4D at Medan
  
• Reached Medan at 8.40 pm and had dinner
• Started playing games at 9.40 pm
• Won Dota and Counter-Strike but lost L4D
• Ended playing games at 2 am
• Reached home at 2.10 am

This is by far the busiest and most stressing week of my degree life. Not even the events we organized during foundation is this bad.

An old injury came back. My lower spine now hurts like a bitch. Feels like there is a nail scrapping my spine. Hopefully I don't have to go for surgery.

But through all that, through all the pain, through all the headaches, through all the worrying, through all the stressing,
the only person I could think about was you.
You

Just in time?

What the fuck. At 4.00 am on Tuesday morning it was raining heavily and I couldn't sleep and at that time already I could feel myself getting sick. Woke up and got fucked up with a sore throat and a blocked nose. At 4.00 pm the same day, I got the fever. What the fuck man.