30 June, 2009

30th June 2009

Woke up it was 10.

Teman best buddy Low Wai Yik to see Kellie at Sri KL

Met some of her friends there.

It was all good.

Walked home and now it's 5.12pm

Time tooooo



Goooood morning world!
Sunrise and sunshine
It's a new day people!

It's so hard to wake up man.
The weather is just tooooo awesome
What am I gonna do today?

29 June, 2009

Those times

I remember those times when I used to skip school for 4 days straight. Run away from teachers. Jump out of school and go to the nearby cyberface. Get chased by cops because my best friend didn't want to follow me.

Those late nights after hockey. Staying up in the old office till 6 am fixing and detailing model Gundams

Living my dream by being in the first official Malaysian ice hockey team and going to Hong Kong bringing home a silver medal.

Those times are gone and are memories.
Good ones.
Now it's time to make even better memories.
With the help of the group of friends I have
(Aaron, Amirul, Syaz, Belle, Izzuddin, Wai Yik, Zac)
It won't be hard.

21 June, 2009


Shocking and life changing

19 June, 2009

How do I

How do I say goodbye
To what we had
The good times that made us laugh

Outweighed the bad
I thought we'd get to see forever
But forever's gone away
It's so hard to say goodbye
To yesterday

I don't know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where we've been
And what we've been through
If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it's worth all the wait
It's so hard to say goodbye
To yesterday

And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye
To yesterday

And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye
To yesterday

This heart is weaker than ever
But it stays beating
With the help of friends
The best ones


Wai Yik




Last but not least, Syaz and Belle



17 June, 2009


Seek me, call me
I'll be waiting

This distance, this disillusion
I cling to memories while falling
Sleep brings release and the hope of a new day
Waking the misery of being without you
Surrender, I give in
Another moment is another eternity

(Seek me) For comfort
(Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
(Seek me) Completion
(Call me) I¡¦ll be waiting
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart

You know me, you know me all too well
My only desire to bridge our division
In sorrow, I speak your name
And my voice mirrors my torment

(Seek me) For comfort
(Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
(Seek me) Completion
(Call me) I¡¦ll be waiting
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart

Am i breathing? My strength fails me
Your picture a bitter memory

For comfort, for solace

(Seek me) For comfort
(Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart

These are the times,
That I need you,
My heart is failing me

12 June, 2009


Bintang bintang di kayangan
Lembut sang bayu
Tanpa bulan di awangan yang tinggi
Tanpa bayangmu
Andainya tiada ketukan kayu

Jika mimpi dihapuskan
Hancurlah lagu
Walau kita dipisah laut biru
Walau kau jauh
Lihatlah angkasa
Kan terubat rasa rindu...

Seindah malam ini
Lazimnya tiada tandingan
Sehingga kupandang wajahmu
Hilanglah perasaan hiba di hati ini
Terpadam rindu bila kau kembali
Bila kau kembali nanti

Jangan duduk sendirian
Jangan kau sayu
Kalau pungguk bersahutan
Kalau kau tahu kurindukan suara
Segeralah kepadaku

Sejenak malam itu
Kau buat ku bahagia
Semenjak malam itu
Hilanglah kisah kisah duka
Bila kau kembali
Bila kau kembali

Seindah malam ini
Ku akan menunggu mu
Bila engkau kembali nanti

Kehadiran dirimu suatu hari nanti
Bila kau kembali nanti...

Just a friend

have you ever met a gurl that you thought was perfect
you waited for her years 'cause you know she worth it
here's a lil' story bout this gurl i knew
since wayback in pre-school sometime in '82
she had 'em two pony tails and a front tooth missin'
wit' freckles on her cheeks cause the moms caucasian
up on a tree house is where we chilled together
with carvings on the trunk saying friends forever
she the type who laugh when the normally cried
and when they busy playing house we playin' bonnie and clyde
in grade school everybody knew we partners in crime
we usta bully kids in playgrounds like all the time
we always seen holdin' hands to the principal's office
the naughtiest in town and could no other kid stop us
in highskool she switched her desk next to mine
so we could cheat while doing pop quizes all the time
14th of February '93
little Jenny said she had a big suprise for me
gave me the very kiss and plus a ring and a card
and said I love you, so I gave her the rest of my heart
a coupla weeks later called her house at 10
the mama said I thought you suppose to be with Jen
I quickly rushed to the crib, she just got out of a van
I'm like yo who was that? oh he's just a friend.....
you, you got what I need
but you say he's just a friend,
but you say he's just a friend
so I took Jenny's word for it at this time
I thought just having a friend it couldnt be no crime
'cause even I have friends and babys that for sho
just like Watson, Hailee, Baby Tash and Joe
so we never talked about that late snack with van man
we rather talk about the future we have planned and
what to name our kids, al-Tarique or Shaymar?
Ayesha, or Tisha for a gurl and maybe even bring our
kids to that little tree house that we chilled at
but then in '94 I couldnt help it but feel sad
Jenny had to leave me to go get a little knowledge
100 miles away in this place they call college
first coupla months it was cool but then it changed yo
she never called and really acted like a strange ho
one day I called it was picked up by a man
I called again, she picked it up and said hey that's just a friend
You know, I know what you been up to
I know you know what you been up to
this guy in her study group's the one who picked up the call
helpin' her in chemistry wit cyclohexanol
I got curious and asked her who else in ya team?
she said Ali, Hassan, Noreen and Kareem
the next week I thought of givin' her a little suprise
but when in front of Jenny's dorm I cound't believe my eyes
I say the same ugly van I saw in '93
I found her room but guess what a brother had to see?
a fella half naked with my gurl on the couch
and baby Jenny moaning, uggg uggh aggh and ouch
so please listen to the message that I sing
don't ever talk to a gurl who says she just has a friend


Aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah dalam tidurmu
Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg mungkin bisa kau rindu
Karena langkah merapuh tanpa dirimu
Oh karena hati telah letih

Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg selalu bisa kau sentuh
Aku ingin kau tahu bahwa ku selalu memujamu
Tanpamu sepinya waktu merantai hati
Oh bayangmu seakan-akan

Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku
Yang memanggil rinduku padamu
Seperti udara yang kuhela kau selalu ada

Hanya dirimu yg bisa membuatku tenang
Tanpa dirimu aku merasa hilang
Dan sepi, dan sepi

11 June, 2009


Aku tak mengerti, apa yang kurasa
Rindu yang tak pernah begitu hebatnya
Aku mencintaimu lebih dari yang kau tahu
Meski kau takkan pernah tahu

Aku persembahkan hidupku untukmu
Telah ku relakan, hatiku padamu
Namun kau masih bisu, diam seribu bahasa
Dan hati kecilku bicara

Baru kusadari cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan
Kau buat remuk seluruh hatiku

Semoga waktu akan mengilhami sisi hatimu yang beku
Semoga akan datang keajaiban hingga akhirnya kaupun mahu

Aku mencintaimu lebih dari yang kau tahu
Meski kau takkan pernah tahu

06 June, 2009


Last night.
I couldn't sleep at all till 5 am.
I have no idea why.
But I had a nightmare.
The worst nightmare anyone could have.

I committed suicide.

In a dark room where I could only see myself, the thick rope and the brown chair I stood on.
I was crying my heart out.
I slowly put one leg at a time on the chair.
I said something I don't remember what.
Then I put the rope around my neck.
I could feel the thickness of it.
Then I kicked the chair away and there was a cracking sound.
It was my neck.
Weird thing is.
It was from a spectators view and I saw myself.

A nightmare.

05 June, 2009


I no longer know what to write

Poetry in motion