25 March, 2010

11-1 Win

No that's not the score of my hockey match tonight. It was the score my team made when I was about 15 of 16 where I scored 5 goals and assisted 3. Tonight's scores was 3-1. We won. It was a good game. But it made me think. In the duration of time during 14 years old and 17 years old. I've never lost more than 10 games. There was one time where we won 15 games or so and only drew once. I scored an average of 20 goals per season with about 15 assists at average. That's 35 points every season on average. I've seen so many fights and injuries. I have a spinal injury that happened to me when I was about 16 where I skated into someone and fell flat on my tailbone. Strangely, my tailbone protector moved out of the way so up until now, the pain comes and goes. Like tonight. A friend of mine was skating fast to the boards and tripped on someones stick and he flew head first to the boards. Resulting in a neck injury. He couldn't move his neck at all. He even said that he couldn't feel his toes. He's now in the hospital.

But all these winnings I've had, especially today's, made me ponder. I've won over 100 official games and another 100 or so unofficial games. Scored over 400 goals officially and unofficially. Have around 200 assists. Played for the national team and winning silver against Macao, Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong, Chinese Taipei.

Though I have all these winnings.

All these glory.

All these medals.

I've never once won in the game of love.

22 March, 2010

The Dream

There he saw it. On the news. He couldn't believe the words coming out of the lips of the news reader.

It said "The end of the world, is at our door step"

He was shocked. Too shocked to the point of disbelief. He hadn't even started to lead his life the way he wanted to. But there it was, reality smacking him right in the face with no sense of guilt.

He thought of things he wanted to do. He thought of things he wanted to say. He thought of the people he wanted to ask for forgiveness. But mostly, he thought of his loved ones.

He asked himself "Do I have enough time?"

He regretted the acts he had done in the past but there was no cure to it anymore. The only way was to forget the past and move on. Do what he can while time allowed it to. This time, time will kill.

"Only a few days left. Only a few days left? Only a few..days..left", He muttered.

He couldn't help the tears from rolling down his cheeks. He couldn't help that his chest felt so heavy and that it started to become harder and harder to breathe.

With eyes blood shot from the uncontrollable tears, he said, "It doesn't matter. What matters most now is how I spend the last few days of my life"

He wanted to spend his time with people he loved. His family, his closest friends and of course, his childhood sweetheart which he never had the chance to tell her how he felt.

"It's time", He thought.

It was time to let out all of his feelings. No matter what were the consequences. He didn't care anymore. He wanted to die without any regrets. He wanted her to know.

For the next few days he spent his time exactly as he planned. Calling up his friends and getting together for a few drinks just to talk about old times. They cried, they did. But there was no use of crying anymore. They knew, but they just couldn't hold it back. The atmosphere was filled with laughter, tears and knowing that this are the best a company can get.

"To us and that we may meet again either in the next life or the afterlife. Since we're all going to hell, the first one there saves seats for all of us!", said Syaz, one of his best friends and the others agreed by cheering and shouting.

As another day had passed, there was only two days left for the world to live. Two more days for a list full of things to do for him.

"Dante?", said a familiar voice to him.

It was his mother, how beautiful she was that day and that she had always been the most beautiful woman in his life. Somebody that he love unconditionally.

"Yes mum?", he replied faintly.

"As my last wish my son, I want you to spend tomorrow with her. Go and tell her how you feel. Tell her everything. I want you to be at peace with yourself before you leave this world", his mother said with much honesty.


Before he could say anything to defend himself, his mother cut in and hammered the nail down, "No buts. You have spent enough time with us and we are satisfied. You have spent enough time with your friends as well. Now all you need to be complete, is her"

He could only look at his mother and smile. She knew him so well. This is what we youngsters never realize, our parents know what's going on with us. They know. Just like how Dante's mother did.

It was night and as he slowly crept downstairs to ask forgiveness from his father.

He whispered in his heart,"I love my father, for all his good and bad"

He hugged him and told him that eventhough he always scolded him, threw his emotions around, do the most unreasonable things, he loved him no matter what and that he was grateful for the life he had given him.
He wouldn't have another father even if God gave him a million others to choose from. It would still be him. No one else.

They both cried. For they both knew that they were forgiven. Forgiven and forever loved as father and son.

As the moon reached the highest of its points. Dante went up to his brothers room.

He said to Damien, "I don't have to say anything dude. You know that you are the best brother anyone could ask for. You know that if I could stop this world from ending with my life, I would, just so that you could live on. There are no words that that could tear us apart. There is nothing that can take our bond away. Not here and definitely not in hell. Cuz we're gonna take over that place. Together as brothers"

It was true. Their brotherhood surpassed any normal brotherhood. They were best of friends. They were twins. They were brothers.

They then shook hands and for their last night together in this body. They jammed together. Rocking the house.

And as the next day, the final day came to be...

04 March, 2010

We are only human

Here I am,
Listening to what seems like a never ending song playing in my heart.
A song that only my closest of friends understand.
A song we sing together.

For how we wished that what we dreamed of were true.
All those ridiculous dreams.
All those perfect endings.
All the love we felt in our dreams.

As our eyes open slowly,
Destroyed our dreams are.
Here we are now.

We can never run from it.
We can never hide away from the truth of life.
How hard can it be?

When all we do seems like living.
But living is only to what we seem is material.
We pass our tasks.
We smell the sweet smell of that green back paper.

Yet when we go home we feel empty.
For all this money,
Where does it go to?
What do I do with it?

We pass our unwillingly taken on tasks.
We don't do it well.
But we live.
But are we really living?

Seemingly there is a void in our souls.
An emptiness.
A hole right in the middle of our hearts.
A deep dark hole filled with nothingness.

For we search for something to fill the hole.
We search.
We look.
We scavenge.

For we know what is true.
Life is nothing.
Nothing is life.
Without that hole being filled.

We extended our arms out so far.
As far and long as we could.
Though unreachable,
We knew we'd give it our all.

We knew what we wanted.
And what we wanted knew.
But here comes the punch.
The stab.

The creator of the hole.
The aftermath of an explosion.
The blood bled with our lives.
The strike from behind.

For we could never see what is coming.
For that reason,
We are human.
And yet people don't understand that.

We're all humans.
We all need something.
We all want the same thing.
We all search.

Only some may find it.
Some may find it but lose it.
To something.
An uncontrollable force of recognition.

Whatever it may be.
Whatever it is.
We're human.
We all bleed and breathe the same air.

We all make mistakes.
We all do things we regret.
We all hurt each other with things we want to say.
We all slowly die.

For we do not live.
We are slowly dying.
What separates the minor from the major.
What separates the open and closed.

Are the ones that never give up.
The ones that think of their cup as half full,
Not empty.
The ones that accept reality but dream of making dreams a reality.

For we are all human.
We should be more afraid of the dark.
For light holds our vision.
Dark holds our unknowingly reserved potential.

The potential to do anything we want.
This is what the dark possesses.
For we are all humans.
Fear should only be to the endless possibilities we posses.

The sense of making the impossible,
Those who fear life and what it brings are not living in reality.
The reality is,

We are humans.

The reality is,

Our darkness gives us light.

The reality is,

In life, you and I should fight for what our ideals are. What we know is right. Not what is told to us by others. For one should never let someone else tell you, you can not do it. Because you can.

Because we're human