19 August, 2009

Regarding Amirul's post

Dude, I feel exactly the way you feel. Except that bottle of happiness is only half full. I know I can never truly be happy now. I lost the inspiration to do anything when I lost her. The only thing that makes me happy are you guys (berry family) and jamming. Either than that. I don't look forward for anything else in life.

Some people may disagree on this but you have to realize that everybody does things differently. Everybody has a different way of looking for inspiration. They may not realize what it is but it is definitely different and even though it is the same, its degree is different.

A month ago, I used to wake up at 7.10 every weekday just to text her and not go back to sleep but text her all the way through until she goes back to sleep at night. Even when she fell asleep and I knew she fell asleep, I would stay up and wait for her reply cuz I don't wanna miss the chance to text her. How sleepy I felt I pushed it away. She filled that bottle up until it overflowed. She gave me the inspiration to write, think positively, to have a vision of my life. Now it's all lost. I'm seriously lost man.

Usually, I would be okay in two weeks or so from this kind of situation. But it's been more than 3 weeks now and I feel exactly the same as I did that day.

I guess she made an impact on my life. A really big one. Assignments? Even if I was forced to do it, I don't know if I will. Waking up? Everytime I wake up at 7 and I look at the time, I think of her and I feel like my energy has been drained out of me. She made a very big impact on my life man. For that short period of time she gave me an abundance of happiness and inspiration. I really felt like I could do anything. Anything the world threw at me I'd be able to face it with her by my side. Now, if I would die, the last thing on my mind would be her. Wondering what would it be like if things were different. I don't wanna leave this world pondering on thoughts that never happened man. I wanna leave this world with no regrets and nothing left to wonder. But I know if I did die now, my soul would never rest in peace. I wanna leave smiling, not crying.

So dude, as your best friend. Do me a favour. Never go through what I'm going through now. Regret can kill. Suicide man. It can drive you crazy. I remember the day after she told me what happened, I was screaming, throwing things around, crying my heart out, beating the pillows and the bed, pulling my hair. I don't want you to go through what I've gone through. So please take my advice man. In whatever you do, do it fully. Never give up halfway. Never give up in anything you do. May it be girls, assignments, your book and most importantly, yourself. If there is a certain someone that gives you the inspiration to be a better person, go all out, don't give up on her cuz if you give up on her, you give up on yourself. She's the source of your inspiration. In whatever chance you obtain, take it. Though it may be bad. But do it. It's all about the experience. Take the risk. If we never took risks in life, we would never have been here and what's the purpose of us living now if risks weren't meant to be taken? Risks are what make us a better, more successful person. Never avoid the problems at hand and face it head on. It may be hard when doing it but trust me when you are old and about to leave this world, you will look back at your life and you will know that you have no regrets.

So this as a friend I advice.


Nanaking said...

Dude, thanks a lot man. I am seriously honored by this wei. Thanks for a great advice, and trust me when I say, you deserve happiness man. At the very least, I have lost inspiration too man, like you. SO, let us find this inspiration, so we can both get back on our feet!...Raise our glass to love, and inspiration to come!

Sypher said...

Honestly i'm not looking forward to meeting anyone new...She really made a huge impact on me...kinda like...phobia and scared now...but...hopefully time will tell...

happyPig~ said...

i can be ur inspiration. hahahahahhaha

Sypher said...

Aww...=DDD give u chocolate!