19 August, 2009

My Immortal

I don't blame her for making those choices she did but I do wish things were different.


I don't feel like waking up at 7 in the morning to go class now.

At a certain point of time in a day,

I will get sad and I myself realize it.

If I were to ask my friends if I had change in terms of attitude and personality,

I bet they will say yes.

I'm not as hyper as before.

I'm not smiling as much anymore.

I tend to not care very much about what is happening around me.

But for all the heartache that I'm going through now,

I don't blame a single bit of it on you.

I don't blame you for making such choices.

I don't blame you for not texting me anymore.

I don't blame you at all.

Though it hurts as hell but I understand the reasons of your choices.

1) We've only known each other for a month plus.
2) You're afraid of the things in your past relationships happening again.
3) You're not ready to commit.
4) Your parents are against my race and religion

I understand and I can't force you into anything you don't want.

I could, but I won't.

I'm not sorry I'm in love with you and that this is one sided.

I ask myself everyday,

Could it be any harder?

I don't think it can be in my situation.

You know,

Though my birth certificate, identification card and even my student id says I'm a muslim.

You know that I'm not.

It's just a name.

Your parents should realize that.

But what's the point?

I know that whatever I say in this blog isn't going to make a difference.

I know that no matter how much I try, I'm cut off.

I know that it is basically pointless in typing all this down.

But I find a lil more peace in it.

I feel a lil, though not much, better.

After all that's been said and done,

Know that,

I only want you to do what makes you happy.

Ballet, singing, dancing, your family.

As long as you promise me that you'll do what makes you happy and that you're happy,

I'll be happy.

Though I know my love is one sided.

It's okay.

I still love you as much as I did a month ago and I'll continue to love you the same.


Study hard dear.

Get those good results and then you have one less thing to worry about.

Smile for me dear.